A Year of Miracles

Have you ever bought the perfect gift for someone and were so excited to give it to them but knew you had to wait for the right time, such as their birthday or Christmas? This is how I imagine God this time last year as Adam and I waited for a baby. Little did we know as we entered into 2013 how close we were to Hope coming into our lives. She was only a couple of months away. I imagine God in Heaven with an excited smile waiting to give us His perfect gift. We have been so blessed. I couldn’t help thinking this over and over this holiday season. And with this thought, were many moments of happy tears. My heart has been overflowing. I have been cherishing my time with Hope, especially as I rock her to sleep. That, lately, has been my quiet time; my time to pray and talk to God. I love how when I start singing Amazing Grace to her, she looks up at me and smiles. (It’s what I have been singing to her since she came home.) I love how she gets excited when we read together, and I just pray that each time I read from her baby Bible, that the words even now are piercing her tiny heart. How I have loved my time in that glider, staring at this sweet baby…our miracle…and praising God continuously. He is faithful. He is gracious. And I am so humbled.
I remember back in May, when Hope was just about 2 months old, she was going through a hard time with eating. She was so colicky and I was beyond sleep deprived. It was about 1AM and I was trying to rock her to sleep. I just started praying. God reminded me of life before Hope. How I would give anything to have a sleepless night if it meant I could rock a baby. How I would give anything to hear a baby cry in our home. (Only those who have waited/are waiting so long for a baby would understand these crazy prayers:) Anyway, I remember praying “Don’t let me forget. Help me to still feel the pain.” I know, crazy. But I don’t want to forget how I felt before Hope. I certainly don’t dwell on it, but to still feel some of that pain deepens my love for Hope and reminds me of what a miracle she is. It also helps me to pray fervently for women who are still waiting for their baby whether it’s through adoption, foster care, or pregnancy. (Ladies, you know who you are and I am praying in my glider 🙂
As I look back on 2013, I see miracles surrounding me~ my miracle through adoption and my miracle through pregnancy even if it was for just a short time. I do still feel sadness as I look at the ultrasound picture from time to time. But the sadness doesn’t define me anymore. I am thankful for God’s deliverance and for people He put in my life to literally pray us through that time. For the past few years, I have chosen a word for the new year. My word for 2013 was “mission”. Little did I know what mission God had for me. It’s amazing how He works:) 
For 2014, I have chosen the word “wholehearted”. Since November, I have been struggling with what this actually entails…to wholeheartedly follow Jesus. God has been working on my heart to loosen the grips of pride, time, and comfort that have taken a stake in me. I am excited to study the verse Mark 12:30 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength.”, as well as read through the Chronological Bible throughout 2014. 
As God begins a new story for each of us this year, Adam and I continue to thank Him for each of you. You have played a part in our miracles of 2013 and we are forever grateful. Our prayer is that through each of these miracles, you have seen the goodness of Jesus and have seen the grace and love that only He can offer.
Happy 2014! We love you.