Reflections Part 2: Celebrating life

Life. I started writing this post almost 3 months ago. We have been busy, to say the least. I’m not going to change any of it. I am on a time crunch…trying to squeeze this post in while Hope finishes up her nap 🙂

About a month ago, I was looking through my calendar on my phone and came across April 13th: “My due date”. I have no idea when I put that in there but it caught me off guard for a second. A little bit of sadness came because how I pray that Hope someday and somehow can be a big sister. But as quickly as it came the sadness quickly left. In that moment God showed me that He is the God of details and sees our hearts and I truly believe orchestrates events to show His compassion on us. Just a few days before I had seen this in my phone, Adam and I had picked April 12th to celebrate Hope’s 1st birthday at a butterfly garden. So instead of dwelling on “what could have been”, He had it all planned that we would be celebrating the miracle of Hope and the faithfulness that God has shown us this past year. I continue to be amazed at how faithful He has been to us and how much He loves us.

We have such a compassionate God. As we walked with Hope looking at butterflies (well, she more screamed then looked at them happily:) I thanked God for the one who flew into our lives forever and the one who flew away. Both such amazing signs of His miracles. I am so thankful.
Another God-orchestrated event this week has been the opportunity I have had to participate in “40 Days For Life”. For the past 40 days, people all over the world have been peacefully praying outside of local abortion clinics for these women in crisis. I found out that there is a clinic about 7 minutes from my house, so Hope and I have been making the trek over there to just pray. Fridays are the day the doctor comes in to perform the procedures and I saw many women and men walk through the doors to make their decision final. Beyond heartbreaking. I often times would look down at Hope and thank God for her mom choosing life for her. And then my heart would break for these young women who think this is the only option for them. (Side note: I do not mention this to spring a debate about pro-life vs. pro choice. So, please no negative comments. Thanks.)
So not only have we celebrated life but we have prayed for the lives of women in crisis and their unborn babies. It has been a full week, but I am beyond blessed.
I share these 2 stories only to encourage those who are hurting and feel God has forgotten them. I hope this encourages you in a small way to see how God is invested in the tiniest details of our lives and desires to show His loving kindness to us.

Fast forward to today, July 1. Hope is 15 months old and active, active, active. She keeps us very busy. Her personality is quickly developing and she is such a joy. She loves to read out loud, loves music, loves to throw her food, and loves to hug her Curious George. I still can’t believe God chose us to raise her.

And God continues to grow and develop me. Right now I am in a stretching stage. He has been burdening me with writing more and developing a book about our adoption, our waiting, and how our faith sustained us. So, since about February I have been slowly working on it as time allows. I am thankful for the 10-12 prayer journals I have kept over the last 12 years that will pretty much write this book for me. It has been a time of great reflection for me. A time to see where we started and to see the finish. I am not the same person that I was when I said “I do” in 2002 and I am definitely not the same person that I was when we started our journey to Hope in 2011. Thank God. I was reading this morning in Psalm 119. Verses 71-72 jumped out at me:

“My suffering was good for me
for it taught me to pay attention to your decrees.
Your instructions are more valuable to me
than millions in gold and silver.”
And it’s true. It was hard. But it was necessary. And it was ultimately good. I was brought to a place where I could only rely on the goodness of God’s promises. It’s not an easy place to be. But it is the safest and most secure.